a call for artists and would-be artists..

Good morning APD and Bozeman PD

Being a former volunteer for Santa fe County fire/ems I can tell you that only a career firefighter has too much time on his hands to drink milk like that.

Being a rather gifted homosexual myself, I just put my hands behind my back and take the whole rim like I did in my beer drinking days at montana State University in Bozeman.  

I held 2 titles in the winter quarter of 1983:

Intermural class b racquetball and beer guzzling champion of a drinking fraternity called 'Le Buffons'...the clowns in French. We met every Thursday afternoon in a basement bar called The Zoo and no women were allowed 

32 ounces in 2.3 seconds and nary did i spill a drop.  Who knew that that open-throated discipline would raise my grade from a b to an a in 3rd quarter physics 12 weeks later.  News traveled fast, and before long I had a handful of sorority sisters just begging for lessons.

My theory has long been proven;  straight women rarely get past the heas of their man's dick while 2 feet below, you practically need to tie a rope around your waist and leave a trail of bread crumbs before diving in their hoochie-pop.  I wouldnt suck Officers Witt and Sgt M. Martinez smelly pussy if the planet ran out of oxygen and all that was left was in their uterus.

So I offered kegel reduction accessories that I put together from stolen livestock birthing tools at the animal husbandry building...remember that calving season was now over and wouldn't go unnoticed til next school year...and surgical tubing that served as an emergency eject if Becky and Sissy from chi omega started actually lap dancing freehand and not with proper supervision.  I thought only gay guys came up with weird contortions and safe words.  

Im off the subject..sorry.  so my gaggle of fag hags not only bolstered my emasculated identity...I had this suave bigmanoncampus aire about me...the Ricky Springfield hairdo and a title of fraternity president and country western bartender..local off duty police officers were grateful that I would give them rides home*.

Sidebar* 90%of all men have homoerotic thoughts.  The other 10 per cent are lying about it..😇

I love bringing up that point.  I can hush a room full of breeders and watch them stare at the ceiling and pretend to whistle or wipe their scalp.

Back to Bozeman and my fraternity...

Joey Brookshire, a fraternity grad student had developed a patent for a bull ejaculator.   The device was simple...a current generator with a rheostat  connected to an aluminume probe that was fabricated in the machine shop by yours truly.   

Joey was a tekky nerd with a very twisted mind.  Of course we all inquired if such a device could be pared down for the human male..but we were soooo wanting to watch the inaugural cumshot so off we went to the railroad stockyard.

What we were subjected to was traumatic and had us contacting student counseling services when we returned. 

That bull knew why he was in the station.  After the handler inserted the gleaming probe he gave Joey the nod.  What we saw was nothing compared to the smell of smoldering anal flesh and and a crackling sound like searing a frozen hamburger patty on a hot grill and holding it down.

But the expected volume of speed far exceeded the collection vessel and the swinging and bucking by the beast pretty much dotted all of us in the kneecaps.  Both Joey and the handler had expected the whole thing to take 2-3 minutes not 30 seconds...

For that patent, Joey sold it and he received 2100 dollars a month for 17 years.  Now, for as little as 48 dollars plus replacement pads, you can go to the arthritis aisle in Walgreens and buy a current generator from you and this missus...or mister if you are anything like Sgt Lawrence Monte...and attach one pad to your taint and one to hers/his...and give her the control box and I don't need to coach you further.  Oh...shave your taint first and thank me later.  Out of the 44 law enforcement personnel that I emailed this link to..6 of you statistically will text this blog to a willing playmate or know of one that will plunk down the equivalent of 20 minutes overtime to get 30 seconds of electrostimulation.

It is worth the experience...but I warn you to remain still afterwards and don't take it into the shower with you.

Have a great and sexully visual day, ok?

Big Smewches

Vikingo